


At Least You Will Know

by pieyro (theduchessofhell)



Series: Remember Me [2]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Dark, Depression, Detectives, Frerard, M/M, Mystery, Romance, Supernatural Elements, petekey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:14:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theduchessofhell/pseuds/pieyro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey Way finds the phone of Pete Wentz, a missing boy who has left no trace but audio journals.  Mikey's brother and his friends try to solve the case of Pete Wentz, not realizing Mikey had the answer all along.</p><p>Follow Mikey Way as he walks through Pete's story and slowly learns the truth.  Along the way, Mikey has his own life he tries to deal with when he's not listening to Pete's.  This is a tale about life and the different ways we cope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do You Ever Wonder Why We Go On & On & On?

**Author's Note:**

> READING THE FIRST PART OF THE SERIES HELPS A LOT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO TO THE SERIES, BUT IT DOES NOT AFFECT YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THIS FIC ALONE. BUT I SUGGEST YOU READ IT AS A SERIES.

 

“C’mon, Mikey.” Gerard’s eyes are pleading.He needed his little brother to step foot out of the house for once.When they were younger, it was Mikey who helped him get back on his feet and on the right track.Mikey never gave up on him.So, he won’t give up on Mikey.

“What’s there to do?” Mikey has his head tilted towards the ceiling while sitting on the couch.His glasses still manage to sit at the tip of his nose, not sliding down to where they should be against his face.

“I’m going to Barnes & Nobles to study.We can sit at the Starbucks and drink expensive coffee.It’ll be fun!” Gerard bounced on his heels and tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.Mikey knew that he didn’t really have a choice to begin with.

~~~ 

Mikey stood in the aisle between the fiction section and the young adult novels.Every once in a while he grabs a book to read the synopsis. Whenever he would come here in the past, it was to find a new book, but nothing ever intrigued him.He finds himself judging the books instead.As he scans the covers of the YA novels, he can’t help but roll his eyes at the same repetitive style.A generic girl feeling sad for herself and an average boy who solves all her problems sound like a great read for pretentious teens.The teen fantasy was even worse.Gerard can write fantasy ten times better in his sleep.Mikey would bet on it.

Out of curiosity, and to prove his point, he flips through one of the books.The cover looks exactly like the rest: trying to look mysterious and exciting with a photo of a girl looking over her shoulder in a dark dress in the middle of the forest.When he turns to the first page, he sees it's covered in marker at the top.

_She chooses the second guy and her mother dies_. 

Mikey almost smiles at the spoiler.The writer probably has the same opinions he does.Towards the end of the book, the first page of the last chapter has more writing on it. 

_Jk I don’t know the ending, but now you won’t either.- p.w_

Mikey turns the page and sees that the rest of the last chapter has been torn out. 

For a strange reason, he feels sad at the thought of the book being thrown away once someone else finds it and tells an employee.He knows a spot where he usually hides books that he wants to get later on but knows someone will grab as soon as he puts it back. 

 

He tries to slip the book into the shelf, but something blocks the book from doing so.Mikey thinks it’s another small book that was crammed into the back.He reaches to rearrange the books to his liking when he feels a cold object.He pulls it out to see a beaten up looking silver flip-phone.He opens it up to see multiple voicemails left on there. 

 

“Mikey, are you ready to go?” he hears Gerard call out to him aisles away.Mikey pockets the phone and makes sure the novel is where he wants it before answering his brother.

~~~ 

Gerard’s ‘studying’ was background checking people, places, and facts.He gathered the facts to get more facts.Once the basics are known, Ray is there with him to actually go talk to people in real life.Gerard’s social skills have gotten better over the years, but sometimes the cases get really emotional and Gee just can’t handle it well alone.

Mikey thought it was like some Scooby Doo type of shit.They ran their own business, but had other jobs as well.Usually the people that come to them don’t want to get in trouble with the law or don’t want the government getting in the way and doing things without their say.With Gerard and Ray, people get to know what’s actually going on and feel more fulfilled for contributing to the case.Mikey understands that people didn’t just need logic and answers, but emotions and a true explanation.What Mikey doesn’t understand is how they get any of the information and how any of this is even legal.He doesn’t want to immediately assume it’s not.

Gerard feels happy and satisfied although he is always surrounded with mysteries and tragedies.He knows that he’s helping people feel at ease and come to terms with their past so they can move on without fear.He’s felt the same way before.He’s been stuck in time watching the world going on without him.One case that he’s made up for himself is Mikey.Gerard can’t recall anything that Mikey was, or is, hesitant to let go of.Mikey needs to go on this journey himself.He needs to go on a journey to find himself again.

Right now, Ray and Frank are over to discuss the case with Gerard, and Mikey doesn’t bother to listen.Instead he gets up to get a glass of water.

“Says he completely disappeared from the world maybe a couple weeks ago.His old middle school website pages show that he was pretty popular amongst students, being in a lot of the old photos.The high school’s website doesn’t feature him in anything other than in a crowd of students.I’m guessing he’s a pretty average teen.Plus, high schools are always bigger.” Ray says.

“Yeah, so doesn’t this mean it’s just a misunderstood kid who needed to get away?Cases with teenagers always start off with ‘but he was so normal.’” Frank makes air quotes with his fingers, almost spilling his drink on the couch which makes Ray cringe despite it being Gerard’s couch.

“Even if this is one of those, we still don’t know where he went or why.We need to make sure it isn’t more than just the pressure of school or bullies or anything of the sort.The stories may be similar, but the details are always where we need to look.” Gerard explains, “I spoke to a teacher from the high school and he said that the kid was doing fine for the first two years.After that, he skipped classes nonstop almost never coming to school.When in class, he either looked terrified or numb.” 

“Maybe something happened to him over the summer between sophomore and junior year that caused trauma.” Frank suggests.Gerard and Ray nod taking note of that.

By this point, Mikey finds himself bored of sipping his water and hearing people talk.He stands up to walk to his room without acknowledging anything else.

He plops down on his bed and plays music on the stereo turned down low so he doesn’t interrupt their meeting.He turns to his side to get comfortable but stops when he feels himself lying on top of an object.He looks and sees there’s nothing on his bed when he remembers the phone in his pocket.Flipping the phone open, he opens up the voicemail and scrolls down to the oldest one.He stares at the screen, thumb hovered over a button, wondering if this counts as invading someone’s privacy and if that’s against his morals.He looks around as if scanning his life and realizes there is nothing else to do anyway.

He opens the first voicemail and holds it up to his ear, closing his eyes. 

_“Hi….uh…I don’t know how to start these.This is so much harder than writing in my journal.”_ The voice mutters to himself before continuing, “ _So yeah I’m Pete Wentz, well, younger Pete Wentz.I’m hoping I make enough of these that I’ll actually hear these one day in the future.I decided that writing down my words can be too vague to be a life journal sort of thing.Writing is better for lyrics and feelings.In the future, I want to know what I was like when I was younger.I want to hear memories in a vivid way.I guess this is like a phone journal or voice mails to my future self.Well, to summarize younger-you, I play bass and I’m in my second year of high school going onto my third.Guess there’s nothing much going on with me.Everything is pretty easy especially since summer break is soon.”_

_“I’ve always liked summer break, but this time it just feels different.You know that feeling where christmas doesn’t feel like christmas anymore?You’re still happy and it’s still great, but something is just off; there isn’t that fast-paced emotion that makes you want to jump around till your heart stops.”_ the voice stops for a seconds and Mikey can hear a soft sigh before the voice gets quiet, “ _Maybe I’m just paranoid.I should go to sleep.I’ll let you know if my assumptions are wrong or right next time.Bye.”_

Mikey’s turns to lay on his stomach and stare at the phone.He didn’t expect that.He thought it’d be a boring phone he’d throw away and go back to wishing something would turn his life around.Mikey knows that the phone isn’t going to affect him, but he’s glad he finally found a good story at the bookstore.

~~~

This time, Gerard drags Mikey to the meeting.“Don’t you find it exciting?”

“I see you do this all the time.”

“Yeah, but you’re never listening,” Mikey follows Gerard around their apartment to continue their conversation, “and you never put any thought into it.”  


“It isn’t my job.” Mikey shrugs.Mikey doesn’t mind going, of course.He doesn’t care where he goes or what happens.He just doesn’t want to pretend to be cheerful.With Gee, Mikey can be as excited or as quiet as he wants.Everyone else doesn’t know his weird pattern of showing emotion or interest.Ray and Frank kind of get it, but then Mikey feels bad for not trying to interact with them more often.He likes them, they’re his best friends.That’s why he doesn’t want them to see him this way. 

Gerard sighs, shaking his head with a small smile on his lips.He turns around to put his hands on his little brother’s shoulders and shakes them.Mikey, being the skinny, young guy he is, lets his body go along with it, shaking like a ragdoll.“You’ve got to do something other than sit at home.I know people like breaks during summer, especially before college, but your brain is going to go numb if you don’t do something.Ray and Frank miss you, and I miss you.” 

Mikey blows a hair out of his eye and pushes Gerard’s arms off his shoulders so he can go retrieve his jacket.

~~~

Ray’s apartment is the largest out of all of theirs.A lot of the time, they go there for meetings, but sometimes Frank spills drinks and Ray can only be responsible for Frank 4 out of 7 days of the week.They were surprised, but delighted when Mikey showed up along with Gerard.They didn’t make a big deal out of it, though, knowing how it can lower the chances of Mikey coming back the next time.

“We talked to other teachers at the school.” Ray whispers, filling in the details for Mikey before sitting down next to Gerard, who was already explaining to Frank.

“The P.E coach was closer to him than the others.” Mikey assumes ‘him’ refers to the person they’re doing their case on. “Coach said he was athletic and had true sportsmanship.He always helped everyone, was friendly, social, and participated in a lot of the sports.”

“The coach mentions he participates a lot, but in his 11th grade year, he basically misses the entire second semester.” Ray comments, pointing out the odd fact.

“Well, according to his teammates and the coach, he became fit over summer and kept trying to be the same team player as before.But, he would start getting these headaches.They would get more severe throughout the practice.He would refuse to sit out, not wanting to let anyone down, but halfway through running or a game, he’d stop and hold his head, pulling his hair.When he did sit down, he’d just say it was a little dizziness.It wasn’t all physical headaches, though.When stopping to breathe, he’d mutter to himself, block out everything around him, and close his eyes shut tight.When they would finally get him back and try to speak to him, he’d shifted his eyes around as if he was waiting for something to occur.It took a while for him to finally respond to them.” 

Gerard looks towards the other three, waiting for any responses.“Sounds a little like paranoia,” Frank remarks, “or panic.”

“Sounds like the dude had a teen life crisis.” Mikey mutters.They all turn to him and he just shrugs in return.Mikey did just get out of high school, and Gerard had said that Mikey was having some sort of crisis.Maybe this guy just went the other way?Mikey voices his opinion, “I mean I guess I’ve been having some sort of teen crisis, too?But, his went the other way.While I all of a sudden feel numb, he was feeling too many emotions at a time.He was overwhelmed, probably couldn’t handle it.”

 

The three nod and hum while listening and thinking about Mikey’s observation, but also thinking about how Mikey actually spoke about his own behavior.It’s something they’ve avoided besides Gee, who only just encouraged his brother to go out more.Maybe having Mikey help them was nice.It added some more perspective.In his mind, Mikey thinks it's weird because Frank is the same age as him.They are both more independent than most teens, but Frank is independent in the way where he goes out whenever he wants, does whatever he wants, which he takes to his advantage in being as risky as possible.Mikey could care for himself because these days he wanted to be alone.Mikey can do anything he wants, too, but he doesn’t want much.Frank is experienced with sketchy concerts, sneaking in places, and talking his way through situations. 

Basically, Frank avoided a teen crisis with two middle fingers, a guitar, and a stolen pack of Gerard’s cigarettes.

“Told you, it’s either the quiet ones,” Frank nods towards Mikey, “or the good guys.” Frank looks down at the papers scattered on the table.

Gerard is too stuck in thought to pay attention.Mikey sees him eyeing the papers with narrowed eyes and lips moving, meaning he’s trying to connect pieces in his head.“Hey, Mikey.” Gerard gets all of their attentions.Mikey looks over at him, but Gee doesn’t return the look, “Maybe you can help with all these teachers and names.You must’ve heard things from other schools or from friends, right?”

“I don’t even pay attention to you sometimes.” Gerard doesn’t react to Mikey’s deadpan look but he hears Frank bite back laugh.

“Maybe a name slipped past your earbuds and into your head one rare day.” 

“Who is this guy anyway?” Mikey asks.He hasn’t heard a name yet throughout these conversations.If he already knew this much, he might as well commit to the case.

“Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III.” Gerard reads off the paper, “More commonly known as Pete Wentz.You know anything about him?”All three are staring again.This time Mikey doesn’t have a reaction for them to roll their eyes at and return to their conversation.

All Mikey can think about is the low voice through the shitty flip phone audio.He knows he should show them; it's evidence.He knows he should turn in the phone.

“No, never heard of him.” Mikey’s usual monotone doesn’t give him away.His longer than usual pause is dismissed as time to think back.

 

Mikey really should have turned in the phone.


	2. It Takes Me Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone, a journal, and a cafe.

“ _I don’t even smoke._ ” The voice whispers into Mikey’s ear through his earbuds.It’s one of many times Mikey has them in, but this time it isn’t music, it’s something even more intriguing.“ _I don’t drink.I don’t pop pills.I don’t snort or inject anything.I just kind of leave home to explore.I don’t just explore physically, I explore what it’s like to be a teenager.I explore my mind.Sounds kind of cliche, huh?Well, this is how you were.I’m allowed to be cliche, might as well use my teen years as an excuse to do stupid shit._ ”

“Can you stop listening to music for one second?” Frank waves a hand in front of Mikey’s face.Mikey blinks a few times before focusing on Frank’s face inches away from his.He can smell the beer stain on his shirt.“I’ve been knocking for years!” Frank exaggerates, flopping onto Mikey’s bed.

“How’d you get in?”

“Do you really need to ask me these sort of things?” Mikey scoots over so Frank has more room to lay down.“Where’s your brother?”

“Either talking to the flowers or out doing errands.” he answers.Frank doesn’t say anything after that.Mikey sits in silence, zoning out, waiting for Frank to run off to find Gerard.

“We should go do some snooping.” Frank suggests.

“Snooping?” Mikey looks over to the short boy who stares at the ceiling in thought.

“Yeah!We should show them that we can contribute to the case on our own.” Frank sits up to look Mikey in the eyes with a big smile.Mikey has seen this look many times.It’s the excited look Frank gets that happens when he becomes committed to an idea.Frank’s ideas are risky, and sometimes stupid, but Mikey has to admit, the dude is committed.  

“Why?” Mikey asks, expressionless, which earns him a dramatic look from Frank of disappointment. 

With rolled eyes, Frank explains, “So they can trust us to work on bigger, better cases with them!I don’t want to just tag along as a kid.I want to actually help.” 

“You want to impress Gee.” 

“What?” the cheerful tone drops from Frank’s voice just like the smile.Mikey realizes he said it out loud. 

“If you want to impress him, I’ll help you out.Just ask, dude.” Mikey shrugs.He starts smiling when Frank looks angry.It’s more embarassment than actual anger.

“Keep your trap shut, Way.”

“Want me to help you or not?”

“Please?”

 

Frank is laying on the hood of Mikey’s car, head hanging off the front and legs along the windows.Mikey sits on the hood, legs swinging off it.The car is parked along the curb of a nice neighborhood."How is this going to help us?" Mikey asks after waiting for too long. 

"Just wait." Frank's furiously tapping at his phone, obviously messaging someone."Okay, let's go."

Frank hops off the car with Mikey following his lead.They walk down the street to a big house vibrating from muffled music coming inside."You brought me to a fucking house party?"

"This is where Wentz used to live.I found out his folks went out of town to see family after he went missing.They left their beautiful home in the hands of Brendon Urie.I guess the Mormon boy next door isn't as innocent as they thought." Frank nods his head towards the door to the house, gesturing that they should enter."Pete's room is upstairs.You should check it out."

"Why me?I thought you wanted to do it?"

"No, I'm the distraction.You're getting the info.Come on, Mikey, we're already here." Frank pleads.Mikey stares at him in disbelief, before giving in and heading to the entrance with a happy Frank trotting after him. 

"So, what's your distraction plan?" Mikey sighs, staring at others his age reminding him of walking through a high school cafeteria for the first time.He turns to Frank, but realizes he's lost him already.

"Hey, fuckers!You think you preppy, pretentious shits can throw a party without letting us know about it?" Frank's standing on a coffee table with a smirk on his face.

Mikey takes this as his cue to sneak upstairs.Not looking back and wasting anytime to see more of Frank's plan, Mikey can hear the music change to something more fast paced and louder.Frank's talking to other voices, sounding like a leader of a revolution.Is that James Deewees?Frank actually planned this one out this time.There's a thud and it's that familiar sound of Frank jumping on top of someone.

It isn't hard to find Pete's room.The door is closed with cracks and stains on it.It's more away from the other rooms and had warning tape over it.Mikey is surprised it isn't locked.

He could clearly tell the room belonged to a teenager.It's messy with posters on the wall and papers across the desk, some even scattered on the floor.He takes a closer look at the papers that lie on top of the others, remembering that Pete liked to write lyrics. 

 

_The only thing worse than not knowing_

_Is you thinking that I don't know_

_I'm having another episode_

_I just need a stronger dose_

 

The papers are all crumbled with handwriting that looked like it was written in the dark.Mikey can imagine Pete not being able to sleep, jolting out of his bed, furiously writing trying to empty his mind out.The trash bin underneath the desk had even more torn pieces of paper piling so high, there were some on the floor that had clearly fallen out.Looking up, Mikey realizes there's photos pinned to the wall.

Obviously, Mikey had heard Pete's voice, but never his face.There was a yearbook photo Gee showed him in case Mikey actually knew him, but yearbook photos are never an accurate representation of someone.Mikey zones out trying to examine Pete's expressions in every photo.Like the tones of the voicemails, every detail in the photo is needed in Mikey's mind to form this image of Pete.Maybe if he gathers enough details, he'll get closer to the real Pete.

In the first photo, Pete's smile is soft like he was trying to make sure he looked subtle.His face and eyes remained the same besides the actual smile that barely showed teeth.The first wall had most of these smiles.All of them were events and occasions with family or school.All were forced or awkward. 

On the next wall, his photos are very different.In one, he's with friends and his smile is bright, photo being taken mid-laughter.Mikey could see his laugh lines, eyes squint, and cheeks becoming more defined by the smiling.Mikey feels himself softly smile at the genuinely happy photograph.In another photo, it appears as if someone took the photo of Pete randomly in the middle of the night.He was topless, hair messy and sticking either up or on the sides of his face along with thick, smudged black eyeliner on his winking eyes.The wink reminds Mikey of a kitten trying to be a tiger with teeth barred and a look of fake aggression.Mikey thinks it looks adorable.

These photos only make Mikey more curious about Pete.Mikey spots a journal on the desk.The first page reads, " _For When I Can't Sleep (aka all the time)._ "Mikey pockets the journal and some of the papers on Pete's desk.

A realization hits Mikey as he stares at Pete's handwriting.He realizes Pete's writing will only be used as evidence and clues.There's an ache in his chest because of the thought.For some reason it feels wrong.These are pieces of someone's mind. 

These might be the only living pieces of Pete's soul left. 

Mikey opens the journal up to the first page. 

 

_I started this because it was hard to fall asleep.Now I'm doing this because I've found out I will forever be awake._

 

The next morning, Frank asks Mikey if he got anything good."I can't wait to show Gerard." Frank bounces on his toes."What'd you find?"

"A lot of his writing." Mikey shows Frank the crumbled papers he had tried to flatten out and stack neatly and lets Frank take them. 

"Sweet!This'll definitely help us find the answers."Frank scans the papers.Mikey's heart drops and it feels like he's drowning.As soon as the papers left Mikey's hands and went to Frank's, it become nothing more than clues."Is there anything else you found?"

Mikey fingers twitch in his jacket pocket.They brush against the worn down soft pages of the journal and his mind flashes back to when it was the feeling of a cold metal phone instead.Just like with the phone, he lies, "No, nothing else."

Just like with the phone, he should've handed it over.

~~~

" _Cafe Cobra was always the place to go._ " Mikey listens as he walks along the sidewalk trying to find said coffee shop." _Gabe always had a weird way of naming shit.That's where everyone hung out, where we would all get crazy because Gabe didn't care if we did.Vicky was basically in charge anyway.Although the day would be fun and crowded the way I would like it, going at night has been more relaxing.1 am is when everyone is usually partying or sleeping.All the shops are closed except the old diner, that wreaks of mid-life crisis, and, of course, Cafe Cobra._ " Pete explains.Mikey checks the time and it's 2 am.Well, it's close enough.

Walking into the shop causes Mikey to slouch a little more, as if he was shying away from it.  The place is so empty, he feels exposed being the only customer in there.  At the same time, it feels nice to be alone.  The empty space feels like room for him to think.  Even though the cafe is empty, Mikey chooses a corner booth to sit in, and moves closest to the wall.  

Reaching into his pocket, Mikey pulls out Pete's journal and lays it on the table.Having the journal out in the open causes Mikey to feel hesitant, so he looks around a couple more times to reassure himself it's safe.He doesn't even know what he's trying to be safe from. 

Mikey plays the next recording, " _Sometimes I go there to write, other times I go empty handed, but every time I go there, I'm running away from something.I go there when I think I've disappointed my parents or when school is just too stressful.Cafe Cobra is like an underground bunker and my life is some sort of messed up zombie apocalypse._ "

"Excuse me." A female voice causes Mikey to jump, his knees hitting the bottom of the table."Sorry!Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine.I kind of zoned out there."

"It is the middle of the night.Would you like anything to drink?If you're out here because you can't sleep, I suggest something warm."

"Coffee, please.I can't sleep well, so I might as well keep myself awake." Mikey gives her a weak smile, regretting what he said.What he said didn't make any sense.He expects her to give him a look of pity and worry, but instead she acts normal. 

"I'll be right back with some.By the way, my name is Vicky if you need anything else.You can also ask Gabe over there, he does nothing here anyway." She winks and Mikey laughs a little.

Before he can get back to Pete's story, his coffee is placed right in front of him.He would be wondering how they were so fast, but he realizes he's the only one in the cafe."One cobra coffee for you, Mr. Way." The man, Gabe, says.

"Stop calling it that!It makes it sound like our ingredients are snakes.We don't want the health department barging in here again!" Vicky scolds.Gabe doesn't even flinch or crack a smile.

"Here's some cobra cream for that."

"That's the worst one you've said so far." Vicky sighs.

"You don't understand, Vicky!" Gabe dramatically crosses his arms and marches to the back of the cafe.

Mikey hides his smile while drinking his coffee, being extra careful to not spill on the journal.Mikey waits a few seconds to see if there'll be any more humorous conversation before un-pausing the recording." _Nah, I wouldn't make a great zombie slayer. I wouldn't make a great zombie either.Anyway, back to what I was explaining.Tonight, I'm in the cafe for a different reason.Similar to running away from my problems, I was actually running away.I don't know what from.I woke up and I felt like I wasn't safe in my own home anymore._ "

" _Believe me, I know it's not logical, but I just felt so cold and my head was pounding.I thought I was getting sick, but it wasn't that.I looked at my arm and saw my veins moving as if something were crawling inside them.My blood was bubbling and boiling, and it was like the heat caused it to evaporate.I don't know if my eyes were blurry from sleep, but I thought I saw smoke rising from my arm as if my blood were becoming one with the air.I needed to get out of there.I thought something was hurting me and I ran to the only place I knew my mind would be safe.When I reached the cafe, I asked Gabe if I looked any different.He said I looked the same, just more terrified than usual.He said it was probably nightmare.I said I thought so, too, but I only say it because I trust someone else's eyes more than my own._ " 

" _Maybe it was because I was at the Cobra that caused me to realize I was okay.I can think so clearly there.Usually I need distractions to get away from the biggest distraction of all, my thoughts.Cafe Cobra is my charging station.It's where I recharge when my energy is drained as if the place is an outlet and I needed to be plugged in just so I can live again.I guess the chord broke, because when I left that night, I shut down._ " 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and I'm sorry I fucking suck at updating. Honestly, to get me to write, people need to yell at me to do it. I suggest if you like my fics, start threatening me to keep writing or I'll forget. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS????????!! THANKS!


	3. Lonely Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continue of the last chapter

“So,” Gabe elongates the word, “what brings you here, Mikey?” 

“I’ve been here before, Gabe.” Mikey replies, not bothering to look at who he’s talking to.Gabe is behind the counter, a magazine in his hand.

“Maybe once.No one ever sees you around anymore.It gets me kind of worried.” Gabe admits casually.Mikey isn’t really close to Gabe.They never talk at school, but if they know there’s a party, they’ll ask each other if they’re going and sometimes carpool.

“When have people noticed me in the first place?” Mikey jokes.Gabe tries to laugh, but he doesn’t find it funny.“Why’re you worried?”

“Sometimes people slowly isolate themselves until they don’t exist anymore.”

“Like Pete Wentz?” Mikey doesn’t bother to keep his mouth shut like he usually does.Mikey waits a couple seconds, not hearing the repetitive sound of Gabe flipping through the pages of the magazine.He’s worried he did something wrong, but he’s more worried Gabe won’t answer his questions.Mikey keeps his head down, hearing Gabe walk over to sit opposite of him.

“I don’t want to wonder why I never see you once and then have it never brought back up until you’re gone.” Gabe sounds like he’s thinking out loud.Mikey keeps asking questions.

“What happened to Pete?”

“It starts off with them saying they’re busy, then that they’re just dealing with personal issues, and finally they’re not even bothering to make excuses anymore, they just stop talking.” Gabe shakes his head, Mikey being the one looking at him now and Gabe being the one looking down at the table.                   
“Gabe, can you tell me about Pete?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Maybe if I knew what happened to Pete, I can stop it from happening to myself.” Mikey admits.It’s the first time he admits it to himself, too.  Gabe looks like he's been hit in the chest.  He doesn't want to see another friend go.

“People think Pete went insane, but they didn’t know him like I did.Pete came here maybe once a week during the night, but went every other day during the day.Eventually, he stopped coming during the day altogether and people thought he just locked himself in his room.No one knows he started coming here every single night.The dude used to bring life into this place.After school, he’d be dancing on the tables, his laughter being the main source of atmosphere here.I think his personality became so much of a character to people, that they never assumed he had any sort of life outside of having fun.” Gabe looks around the room, memories projecting in his mind, “I wish I had been more perceptive, maybe I would have some sort of clue of what happened.”

“Why’d people think he went insane?Do you think that?”

“I say I don’t think that, but it’s hard not to when he would rush in at midnight like a fucking robot muttering to himself.He’d sit right where you’re sitting, holding his head in his hands.Vicky would offer him an Advil, thinking he might be having migraines.For a week, she’d put coffee in front of him, but he’d always down it in a second telling himself it feels like nothing.I don’t even know what that means?He’d break down saying he couldn’t taste the coffee or feel himself drinking it.At the end of every night, he’d tire himself out and the last thing he would say is sorry and to not mention this during the day.Vicky and I have always known he had trouble sleeping, we thought he was having severe nightmares and needed a place to calm down.We didn’t want to interfere.We should have.”

“And you haven’t told anyone about this?” 

“No, there’s no use.They already know of his insomnia, this would be useless.Fuck, I just spend these nights staring at that door, the image of him walking in haunting me.I need closure, Mikey.I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering what happened to him.I can’t stand the feeling of pretending I don’t know anything, that I didn’t know him, because that’s what I’ve been doing.It’s a shit coping method, but it’s the only one I know.”

“He must’ve been a good friend.” It's the only thing Mikey can say.

“He was.He was an even better person.He’d spin around playing bass, hitting his elbows on the table, falling over till he got it right.He’d play soccer with the fruit here, Vicky yelling at him that he’d have to pay for it first.  We used to have a battle where we would take the funniest photos of each other.  It would never work, though.  Pete loved making weird faces for photos.” Gabe smiles sadly, laughing a little.  Mikey thinks back to the photos in Pete's room.  “I think you would have liked him.Maybe in another life, you’d be great friends.Go home and get some sleep, Mikey.You’re free to come in any time.”

“Gabe?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you did everything you could to help Pete even if you thought you ignored him.He needed this place.Sometimes we need to be left alone to think, and you gave him a place to do that.”Mikey looks at the place one last time, not knowing if he’ll come back the next night or never come back again.“Goodnight.”

~~~

_Entry 1_

 

_There’s an empty underground room.The door is between two shops that connect.The walls are off-white, the floor is cement, and the air is cold, but it doesn’t bother me.I didn’t even realize it until they told me.When they found out I was there, they whacked me with a bat.It stung for a second and I spat blood out.Internally, I was freaking out, every single phone number I ever memorized flashed in my head in case I found a phone somewhere.I was ready to call for help, I was planning my escape.I was even more scared when I found myself seeming unfazed by the situation.My thoughts and my emotions weren’t connecting._

_One of the men said I shouldn’t be bleeding.I laughed and called him an idiot, of course I would be bleeding if I was hit like that.Another man told him, “He doesn’t know”.I started to get angry.I felt like I was being psychoanalyzed.I was being observed.It reminded me of past psychiatrists, and I wanted to throw up.I started yelling at them to stop.They realized how unstable I was acting, how uneasy I was feeling.They told me “Go to sleep, kid.You’ll feel better in the morning.”I didn’t want to go to sleep.If I can’t tell what’s going on when I’ m awake, I don’t want to feel what it’s like to be asleep._

_Then I woke up in my room.“This is why I don’t sleep.” I told myself._

_I walked into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and saw dried blood on my face and a bruise on my cheek._

 

_P. W_

 

Mikey finishes the entry as soon as he reaches home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEAVE COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, QUESTIONS, I LOVE YOU ALL. YELL AT ME TO WRITE MORE I'M IN NEED OF MOTIVATION. THANK YOU


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